You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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