Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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