Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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