you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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