Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
