we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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