"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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