im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would ride that face into the sunset
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
