that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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