idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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