In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
