You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
