at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
