yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
