I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
