whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
