Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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