you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
