I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
