I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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