that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
