New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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