We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
