Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
