I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
