the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
