Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
