He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
