I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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