you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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