Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
