Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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