i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
