i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
