It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
