You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
