Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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