I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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