I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i out mim tonsoeep
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
