puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have fence marks all over my body
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
