remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
