Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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