can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
