at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
