worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
