quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
