You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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