I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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