does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
