Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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