wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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